Sunday, October 7, 2012

About Race Anxiety...

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"'Chase dreams signal ideas of helplessness,' he says. 'Do something to regain a sense of control over your life."

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-52177/Five-common-nightmares--mean.html#ixzz28dJzi5pX


I had a dream last night that I was running. Not a race or with anyone, just me. Alone. Like usual.  And at the beginning I was pleased and calm, passing the casual walkers as usual.  Then something happened.  A walker passed me.  I was still running, yet so slowly that I was barely moving.  My legs felt like lead despite willing them to move more quickly with all my might.  Alas, I could not pass that damn walker.

I woke up to my alarm screeching away, thankful that my cheap-o clock does not have the mind power to separate weekdays from weekends.  I wanted to get up and run, to prove to myself that my legs still worked, and all my months of training had not been wasted because of my recent time off from pounding the pavement.  Unfortunately it was 5:30 am, still dark, and I have yet to purchase a headlamp for this season.  So I went back to bed looking forward to the daylight.

The dream was back. I was in the middle of an ultra race this time with a pair of bicycling friends and I was keeping up! I was going fast! My legs were working! 'This. Is. Awesome.' I thought.  Then something happened: I got lost. My time was ruined because I hadn't read the guide signs. Again, my dream turned into nightmare. And again I awoke to my alarm - this time my phone reminding me to take my vitamins. What is the deal?!

Sounds like I may have some race anxiety, wouldn't you say? My first race since the Firecracker 5000 on the fourth of July  is coming up next weekend and I am mighty nervous indeed.  I've recently taken a significant amount of time off and have only logged 3.5 miles in the last month.  I feel weak and lethargic. Unmotivated and un-enthused.

"Get up. Get off your a$$ and get out there. Lace your shoes, tighten your water bottle down and get moving for crying out loud. Do it. Now." my subconscious self is telling me. I think I should listen.

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